Wednesday, August 18, 2010

My Life on the Blacklist PT. 2 (An Egotistical Interlude)



“I only say those things about you because you’re a terrible, cynical, disingenuous news organization.” – Jon Stewart about FOX News (But it works for NT as well, I could argue .)

Hello Blogiteers!

When I last left you, I was at my therapist’s, but he cut our session short after I started recounting those dreams I’ve been having about swimming with Axl Rose look-alike dolphins who for some reason, sing nothing but Michael Jackson songs.

Badly.

You’ve had that one too, right?
Anybody?
Anyone?

Ok…..Um, anyways…. To recap my earlier meanderings in PT. 1 about my email tardiness- due to the overwhelming amount of messages I received, it was at least two days or so before I came across Amy Silverman’s Email.

Did I mention she’s New Times Managing Editor? I did? Good. You will see soon enough why I keep dropping her job title, just bear with me. Thanks.

As I was saying… Since my email is not set up alphabetically, she was [literally] the last message I read.

I know, I should have used the Sesame Street server, but I didn’t- that stupid salesman for The Electric Company got to me first, what can I say? When I finally opened the message, this is what it said:

FIRST EMAIL MESSAGE FROM AMY SILVERMAN: [aka MANAGING EDITOR OF NEW TIMES]

my name is amy silverman. i'm managing editor at phoenix new times. I understand you've had some sort of conversation with claire Lawton regarding content on our web site? would you please share your concerns
with me?

thanks.

amy

FINI.
-------------------------------------------

I liked it at first sight.The tone was polite. Friendly. Open. Almost curious. Much like a cute little poo flinging monkey that also writes. OK- maybe it was written without proper capitalization, seemingly in the manner of a 12 year old girl, but certainly that couldn’t be a portent of things to come, could it?

Note to self: In future: go with your gut.

So feeling slightly embarrassed for not being on top of this email sooner, I hastily composed the following reply to apologize for my delay in returning Amy’s message:

WAYNE’S SLIGHTLY EMBARASSED, HASTILLY COMPOSED, HONESTLY APOLOGETIC, E MAIL REPLY MESSAGE TO AMY SILVERMAN: [aka MANAGING EDITOR OF NEW TIMES]:

Ms. Silverman-

Sorry for the lateness of my reply, but I have been up to my neck in responding to my email accounts, due to an unnaturally heavy amount of traffic the last three days. As to my concerns-, I fear that email is not an adequate conveyance to express them clearly.

If you are interested in hearing my views, Sunday, Monday, and most nights work well for me.

I did offer a option (albeit curt) in the "comments" section of JR, and as I said- I am serious about it.
Please let me know what works for you.

Respectfully,
Wayne Michael Reich

FINI.
------------------------------------------------------

See? I can be nice, even gosh darn cuddly sometimes.

And, to up my “street cred” as a mature adult, I even admitted that I might have been a tad curt in my responses online, all in the na├»ve hope of opening a dialogue about improving NT’s dearth of local arts coverage.

Amy’s response to my very nice response? An even nicer response!

AMY SILVERMAN’S [aka MANAGING EDITOR OF NEW TIMES], EVEN NICER RESPONSE TO WAYNE’S SLIGHTLY EMBARASSED, HASTILLY COMPOSED, SEMI APOLOGETIC, E MAIL REPLY MESSAGE:

I'd be more than happy to meet with you. I can meet Monday, July 19, any
time between 1 and 4 p.m. at New Times, 1201 E. Jefferson Street, or the
following Monday in the same time frame. Please let me know if either
works for you.

Thanks!
Amy Silverman

FINI.
------------------------------------------------

More than happy? I actually got a “More than happy”! I never get that. In my life, it’s more along the lines of “Less than melancholy.” A dialogue was opening here- I could just feel it.

But just like so many years ago when I dyed my hair, painted my fingernails black, wore alternative fabrics and started humming “Bela Lugosi’s Dead” every five minutes- it was a huge error in judgment. I actually believed at this point that our meeting would be a “sit-down” of sorts- either to discuss the issues I had raised, or more realistically, to challenge those concerns through some form of debate like rational people tend to do.

But then again….It was New Times after all, and I was [at that moment] blissfully unaware that I was about to meet an up and comer for my honorary title of Queen Bitch of the Universe. As usual, I am getting ahead of myself yet again. Sorry about all the jumping around, but when I am forced to deal with stupidity combined with arrogance and an unjustified ego, I get sort of scrambled.

Now, I wasn’t knocked down or out for that matter- I was thrown for a loop. If you look online at NT’s article on yours truly, you will see that Amy Silverman [aka: New Times Managing Editor] posted TWO comments regarding the “debate” that was ensuing- to quote:

AMY SILVERMAN’S [aka MANAGING EDITOR OF NEW TIMES] FIRST OF TWO COMMENTS POSTED ON NEW TIME’S LAME ASS ATTEMPED BITCH SLAP OF WAYNE MICHAEL REICH WHERE SHE SEEMS TO WANT TO START A DIALOGUE ABOUT NT’S ARTS COVERAGE:

 “Thank you for all of the feedback regarding our arts coverage!

As you know, New Times has covered the arts forever in print, but our blog, Jackalope Ranch, is still in its infancy. In the paper we barely have room each week for a visual art review OR a theater review.
On the blog we have infinite space, and we appreciate your patience as we feel our way around. The categories of "music" and "food," which we've covered on phxmusic.com and phxfood.com for years now, are just that -- categories. "Culture"? This time, we've bitten off a larger hunk. We won't get it perfect overnight, and even at that, many of you won't ever like us. We can live with that.
But love us or hate us, do tell us what you think!
Your input (well, much of it, anyway) on Jackalope Ranch is invaluable. Please keep it coming. It's nice to know you care”
----------------------------------------------------
 Amy does seem interested in starting a dialogue here, does she not? Well, that warm fuzzy feeling lasted about 10 minutes, and then someone posted a comment accusing New Times of journalistic backpedaling- which led to the following:

AMY SILVERMAN’S [aka MANAGING EDITOR OF NEW TIMES] SECOND OF TWO COMMENTS POSTED ON NEW TIME’S LAME ASS ATTEMPED BITCH SLAP OF WAYNE MICHAEL REICH WHERE SHE SEEMS TO GET A TAD BITCHY AFTER BEING ACCUSED OF JOURNALISTIC BACKPEDALING:

“Believe me or not (and frankly, I don't care whether you do) I'm happy to see a dialogue about the arts scene in Phoenix. (At least, in the places I can pick that out amongst other trappings here.)
There's a place for haters, too, always has been in the arts, and we welcome you here. No, we won't please you all the time. At least, I hope not. That would be boring beyond belief.
Just a thought: You can launch insults, or you can try to do something productive. Either way, know that I'm thrilled to see your input on Jackalope Ranch.
One last thing -- you'll have a lot more cred if you put your name to your comments. Just sayin'.”
-------------------------------------------------------------------------

At this point, that whole “give us your input” thing is still being expressed, but her uncalled for comment of “and frankly I don’t care whether you do or not” seems to negate that previously open mindedness she had just a few mere moments ago. 

In addition, it also shows a small streak of egotistical pettiness, I think. She is not the story, the blogs bitching about NT's implied lack of art coverage is the focus, and yet, she attempts to insert herself as the sole focal point- this becomes important later in our saga, so please hold this issue in your memory.

However, Amy does get two points for telling the haters to post their actual names, so that’s turning a negative into a positive I guess. Now- my responses to the comments posted above and to the NT article were short and to the point... well somewhat, anyway. For those of you have read all the comments under the online article, feel free to skip this next part, as it is just my final response to NT’s journalistic fluff ball. Smoke em’ if you got em’, I always say.
                                                                                                                 
WAYNE’S SHORT AND TO THE POINT [SOMEWHAT] REPLY TO NT’S LAME ASS ATTEMPED BITCH SLAP, VIA A PERSONAL MESSAGE TO AMY SILVERMAN: [aka MANAGING EDITOR OF NEW TIMES]:

“Once again- wow. All this from my little blog.
I guess I hit someone's nerve, otherwise why would Steve waste his time on little ol' me?

Seems strange, especially since Claire Lawton claimed that NT "gives voice to all kinds of viewpoints." Especially the ones that agree, otherwise why bother with a blog that is usually written for my own entertainment? Now to be honest, my screeds usually get an avg. of 500 or so hits every time I write, but they do seem to get forwarded a lot. I get e-mails from a wide variety of people who enjoy my little rants, and that's fine.

But apparently, I must have ticked off someone at NT to inspire Steve to write this weak candy ass tripe. Rather than debate the issues I've raised, let's just keep name calling and taking cheap shots - that will fix the problem eventually, I'm sure.

So along those lines....

Martin C: I have no idea what your comment means, so I'll ignore it. Except to say your trolling on Steve's behalf was well done, if disingenuous.

Pete: You rock- that is all.

Amy S.: Nice to see the big wig get involved. But one small point? In your own words: "You can launch insults, or you can try to do something productive."

The only way NT's blog has been productive was to drive people to my website- for that I thank you.
[http://www.waynemichaelreich.com]

If you guys were upset or felt slighted, you (IE: NT) could have called me to get perspective as a responsible newspaper would have done- you did not. Rather you asked Steve to cobble together this embarrassment of riches (for me at least) and did nothing except prove my point that NT is completely out of touch.

You claim that NT has limited space-I cheerfully disagree. NT does not have limited space, NT has limited writers.The NT article by Craig Outhier that started all this could (and should) have been dropped for something actually worth writing about- be it a new artist, musician, or bricklayer.

"Who will swipe Jordin's V- card?"

That's classy, let me tells ya. I can not sleep at night sometimes not knowing who will f**k Jordin Sparks. Sophomoric comedic "journalism" is not what I would consider great use of the "limited space". Every week NT has the ability to inform, entertain, and direct public opinion.Yesterday, NT directed some of that vital energy at me- rather than debate the points I raised, or offer solutions, NT decided to throw down, and if my email is any indicator- you guys got stomped like a narc at a biker rally. 

Way to use the machine. If you don't agree with my POV, why didn't you just ignore me? You've been pretty good at that for the least ten years or so, it should've been easy.

So I offer a challenge- you want "differing viewpoints"? Talk to me- I dares ya. Not an interview, I'm obviously not fishing for that. Nothing more than a simple little chat over coffee. (cookies optional)

You can even bring Steve and his high chair. Or I'll come to you- walking into the Lion's den as it were.

Either way, I promise to be entertaining company. You got the stones? I got the time.
But if what I've seen lately is any indicator, you're chucking pebbles.                                                      
 Respectfully, WMR”
---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ok everyone, back into one happy group. that's good. Does everyone have his or her blog buddy?  Awesome.                                                                                                                                     

 Now, I know what you are thinking- why would anyone in their right mind want to meet with yours truly, after I just metaphorically spanked, humiliated, and dope slapped them upside the head? Using their website as my pulpit, I might add. It did strike as strange, but under the false impression that this meeting would be a positive experience, I soldiered on, mentally preparing for the best.

So, I dressed all artsy*, memorized my notes for the “dialogue” to follow, and prepped for my meeting with Amy Silverman. [aka: New Times Managing Editor]
[* By artsy, I mean I was wearing my black jeans, my white crucifix tee shirt, polished motorcycle boots, and my usual complement of custom made silver jewelry. BTW, I look DARN good in this outfit, just saying.]

As an added bonus, and because I am a man of my word, I brought along a box of Costco chocolate chip cookies as an icebreaker. After all, I did verbally bitch-slap NT, and I surmised that perhaps there could be some residual tension directed at yours truly because of all that. Chocolate chip cookies, by the way, are awesome for reducing all sorts of tension no matter who offers them. I may hate your guts, but if you offer me good chocolate chip cookies, I will endure your presence until they are gone.

In addition, the cookies that Costco stocks are as big as your freaking head, with HUGE chunks of chocolate in them, and they are not cheap either - these are like seven-dollar cookies, a price I was more than happy to pay in favor of a possibly larger return.

I did say that cookies were optional in my response, but I was flat out lying. Chocolate chip cookies are never optional as far as I am concerned, and seriously- who doesn’t like chocolate chip cookies?

I did find that last part out, much to my chagrin.

"The whole business is built on ego, vanity, self-satisfaction, and it's total crap to pretend it's not."
-George Michael



Sunday, August 15, 2010

My Life on the Blacklist PT. 1 (The Snark before the Storm)



 “Absolute truth is a very rare and dangerous commodity in the context of professional journalism.”
- Hunter S. Thompson

“Seriously Dude? Amy Silverman’s sole creative writing talent is her resume.”
- Anonymous New Times Reporter [Said to yours truly over an awesome Russian dinner.]

Hello Blogiteers!
 Before we begin, a few simple messages left recently on my FaceBook profile:

From Peter Petrisko:

“There's a reason 'journalist' makes the top three on my list of professions most eyed with suspicion. The other two being 'lawyer' and 'mime'. Individual ranking of the top three depends on day and mood.”

"Going by the facebook links seen this week... ernesto eats. ryan wears. steph collects. All within a week.  Methinks somebody at that paper is in downtown arts community damage control mode.

i blame you. Mostly. ;) "

What pray tell, could this possibly allude to?

Is it about my upcoming centerfold in Playgirl’s “Artists of Arizona” issue?
Nope.

Is it about letting Mel Gibson use my cell phone to make a few personal calls?
Nada.

Is it about my new reality show “American Frameshop” on the Discovery channel?
Not even close.

No, I’m afraid it has everything to do with our free local rag known as the New Times.
Yet again.

I am so sorry. Truly, I am.

If you have no idea what I’m talking about, you’re obviously new to this humble little blog of mine, so I suggest you catch up by reading ALL my previous blogs before you continue on- go ahead, I’ll wait.
 [Music plays, “Cinnamon Girl” you know- the version by Type O that rocks?]

Caught up? Great.
 Let us continue, shall we?

After I wrote PT2 of my “Exile” blog [but before I dropped PT 3] New Times published a little article about yours truly, via their so-called art / music / culture blog, aka: “Jackalope Ranch”

Here is the link in case you missed it:

Now when they wrote this article, they were nice enough to link the past Artbitch blogs so that anyone who wanted to could go and read them, despite their attempt to deride me as a bitchy crank.

So, you ask- did their lame ass attempt at a journalistic bitch slap work out as they planned?
Did they grind me under their heel? Did they tie me up, drip hot wax all over my body, and tell me that I have been a naughty little monkey?

No.
No.
And why the hell not?

So in the end, how was I affected by NT’s “journalist” Steve Jansen’s literary version of erectile dysfunction? Let me think about it for a second….

And The Arizona Press Club’s Award for Worst Editorial Decision of the Year goes to...
[Drum Roll, Cymbal crash, Dog barks]

 Amy “Let go my Ego” Silverman [aka: New Times Managing Editor] and to a slightly lesser degree, her Annakinesque disciple- Claire “I don’t do my own dirty work” Lawton!

[Their respective Email addresses are: amy.silverman@newtimes.com and Claire.Lawton@newtimes.com just in case you wanted to say “hi” or send them an Ecard, you know- something sweet like that.]

Speaking of sweet, I will even offer some advice for NT’s Steve Jansen: Next time you want to engage in a pissing match with me, I would recommend borrowing Amy Silverman’s dick to do it.

And I’m not referring to Claire Lawton.

Because of the article and the ensuing comments (71 thus far) left on the page, hits on both of my sites went WAY up.  Moreover, if you actually read the comments that are below the article, you will notice that after the first two or three troll responses- the peeps are definitely behind me. This is quite a refreshing change, since normally I get at best- 500 to 1000 hits between my art and blog sites, and that is okay by me. Emails have come from Scotland, Australia, Prague, England, Canada, Japan, and even Iraq- praising both of my creative outlets.

But do you know what’s even better? The majority of these come from people who were forwarded my humble little missives from friends who are not even on any of my social networks.

Viral marketing at it’s finest.I mainly write to amuse myself and for some reason, random strangers seem to like it as well. Whether they are laughing at me or more hopefully, with me- it still makes my day. I am a giver- that’s all there is to it. So there I was- just plunking along nice and slow, and then NT’s fluffy hatchet piece arrived at my doorstep.

Within two days of the article, I had over 350 emails flood my online mailbox, fielded about 30 phone calls, and my personal art website (http://www.waynemichaelreich.com) had over 4000 “hits”. That is a good day at the office let me tell ya. However, things were going on behind the scenes- unbeknownst to me, Amy Silverman [aka: New Time’s Managing Editor] sent me a message, which due to the overwhelming volume of other emails had gotten lost in the shuffle.

Now as you might imagine I was a little busy reading, answering, and posting responses to worry about such small details as checking every single one of the electronic missives I was receiving for top priority status.

What I did discover was a strong trend- most were on my side, or close enough to count. To be honest, there were a few negative responses- the ones on New Time’s JR site were obviously trolls, but the emails were a different beast entirely.

Think of a cow, wearing a hoodie, that’s been huffing paint. For days. It’s been fairly consistent that whenever I receive one of these anger grenades, they normally hover somewhere between the illiterate and psychotic.However, there is always a redeeming quality, it seems. I do answer my public, and not just the ones who are being nice.

After all, the nasty people did take the time to write, but since I do not regard “Go Fuck yourself” as an actual point of debate- those generally are deleted, while others that open up with: “I see your point but…” will garner some form of response. So how do I deal with the really, really, ugly ebombs you ask? Well, the standard reply to rude & offensive emails (kited from SNL’s Al Franken) usually goes like this:

ACTUAL RECEIVED EMAIL FROM: Andow87jsn@*****.com:

"Went to ur syte- saw your “work” You call yuorself an artist?!! I bet you suck c**k- FUK YOU!!"

MY TYPICAL RESPONSE:

"Thank you for your kind e-mail regarding my cocksucking. As you can imagine, I have received so many positive responses about my cocksucking that I cannot possibly answer them all personally. But, once again, thank you for your kind remarks.

Sincerely,
Wayne Michael Reich"
------------------------------------------------------------------------

As you may surmise, it drives the schmuck’s nuts, since I just keep going- riffing on each successive email, making the morons assume that they have hit an automated response system The above jackass emailed me like 12 times, getting madder and madder until he just gave up in frustration.

Damn- it feels good to be a gangsta. But it’s even better to be The Artbitch.

Especially when a woefully unprepared enemy takes a cheap shot, misses by a mile, and despite (or due to) their barrage of snarkiness- proves my point.... over and over and over again.

One of my eternal issues with NT has been the condescending and typically sophomoric coverage of the local cultural scene of downtown PHX – that is, when they actually bother to take an interest in us.

[This issue was covered in PT. 2 of my “Exile” blog, and led directly to the link posted above.]

For a company that has their offices in the heart of PHX, you would think they would actually want to be involved in promoting this city and its endeavors. Oh sure, there is a mention of the arts every now and then, but traditionally NT’s reporting on the local has always been well…

“Condescendingly bitchy” is the first description that comes to mind, in my humble opinion. You need proof, I see. Where do I start? Well, how's about a snippet from a recent NT article selected from their music blog aka: PHXmusic.com?

"With the list of SB 1070 boycotters growing, it has become more and more important for New Times music writers to look closer to home. So here we are, reviewing bar bands for our blog, PHXmusic.com."

[Full article and all comments can be located at: http://www.phoenixnewtimes.com/2010-07-29/music/what-happens-when-new-times-reviews-bar-bands/]

And after reading that nugget, I just HAD to respond in my own nurturing way: “So basically you wouldn't be wasting your time on the local scene if we weren't being boycotted by national acts? How nice of you to grace us with your condescending presence, New Times.

You have ZERO credibility in the arts community, you have ZERO credibility among the music community (mainly because of Martin Ciznar) and your recent attempts to showcase the downtown cultural scene have been laughable at best.

Sometimes intentionally, but usually not. The recent "What are you wearing?" series on Jackalope Ranch has just proven once again that NT just needs to pack up it's collective bags, move to L.A., and start the well honed pretentiousness anew in a city it actually appreciates.

Do PHX a favor and act like an ex girlfriend, New Times- just come right out and tell us you hate us, instead of all these subtle little digs. You'll feel better, and then we know to just avoid you.

I use the term avoid, because no one actually reads you.
Sort of like your editor.”

With that, I thought I was done bitch-slapping NT for a few days at least, as I was going on vacation to Salt Lake City with my GF Ashley. But since NT usually reacts toward negativity like a spurned prom queen, I just KNEW someone from NT would eventually respond to my critique above.

This occurred in the flatulent form of one Martin Cizmar, NT’s “Music Critic”. You recall Martin, don’t you kids? He trolled for Steve’s article to make it appear that he had support.

Definition of Critics: Legless men who teach running. Whininess, thy name is Martin, so take it away.

NT’s FLATULENT MUSIC CRITIC AND PARTIME WEB TROLL MARTIN CIZNAR, RESPONDS TO WAYNE”S BLOG COMMENT:

“I like how you view the entire staff as some big, bad monolithic force acting in concert to push an agenda we all agreed on in a meeting while smoking cigars and drinking cognac.
Sigh.

You can't read for shit, Wayne, and you seem to think you pay close attention to what we run when you obviously don't. Or maybe you'd care to point out another publication that gives more attention to PHX music?”
----------------------------------------------------------------------

So naturally, of course I had to reply. Would you expect any less?

WAYNE”S RESPONSE TO NT’s FLATULENT MUSIC CRITIC AND PART-TIME WEB TROLL, MARTIN CIZNAR’S RESPONSE TO WAYNE”S BLOG COMMENT:

"Martin-
That's okay- you can't write for shit, so I guess we're even.
What a shock- you got it wrong again.


I do not regard "the entire staff..." as doing anything other than following orders from your painfully out of touch editor. In fact, I can count many friends/fans among the New Times staff, and have appreciated their input for many years in some cases.

As well as the over 400 email responses I received after New Time's fluffy hatchet blog on yours truly that you trolled for. By the way, like many others in the PHX Music/Art community- I'm breathlessly awaiting the follow-up to your article on Frankie Munoz's girlfriend.

That's some Pulitzer Prize material right there, let me tell ya.

As for who pays more attention to PHX music, you are actually right for once.

No one does. Mainly because other than a few under funded Zines, there isn't any real coverage to speak of, so I guess you guys deserve a pat on the back for that.

In fact- when I am out and about [hanging with the musician buds] and the subject of local coverage is discussed, your name pops up the most, actually. Due to the fact that this is an open venue, I won't spell out the vulgarities that are attached to your name specifically, but the overall suggestion is that you should eat a lot more fruit.

I know you like to believe that somehow your opinion is valued, but among the majority of musical creatives I know- the weekly rag you work for is regarded as a joke. And when a "joke" covers you, the view slanted by either a sycophant's fawning or a failed musician's disdain- it doesn't help anyone.

Just my two cents,
WMR"
------------------------------------------------------------

I tell ya- its like a g-damn game of whack a mole with these people some days.

Sadly, their snide hipster elitist attitude permeates almost all of NT’s “journalism”, except for the only thing they do win praise for- their investigative stories. Which are, I will grudgingly admit, some damn good reporting. However? The rest of the magazine at its best is kind of like a PennySaver with porn.

Pick up any issue, no matter what the week, and you will find a number of digs, shots, and general disdain towards anything PHX based.

Musicians?
Talk about their past feuds with other bands- not their music. Point out minor flaws as much as possible.

Artists?
Ask questions about what they wear, eat, and sleep in- not their art. Avoid any thing that resembles depth.

Movies?
Point out what you would have done better, since you are obviously the next undiscovered Scorsese.

Fashion?
Idolize the vapid and talentless, give props to their partying skills. They drink a lot? Kneel at their feet.

Theater?
I actually like Robert Pela, so this one gets a pass. He is way too good to work for these idiots.

Dining?
Michelle Laudig like the gentleman named above, rocks- plus she is also really HOT, which might have affected my judgment a wee bit.

Ok, maybe a lot. Sue me. But even with all of this deliberate cattiness, week after week- I still couldn’t figure out where their attitude came from, until I was messaged a link to this blog:
http://www.thetearsofthings.net/

Moderated by Jerome du Bois and Catherine King, it is a searing overview of the issues facing the PHX art scene- and I like it. Plus, it gave me some ammo in my fight against NT- a smoking gun as it were, in the form of an article Amy Silverman [aka: New Times Managing Editor] wrote five years ago. I can already hear your scornful disbelief welling up...

“A FIVE YEAR OLD ARTICLE?

THAT”S ALL YOU GOT? ARE YOU SERIOUS? YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE THE GODDAMM “ARTBITCH”! YOU COCKSUCKING SON OF A BI..”.

Whoa! I did say I could hear you, right? Do you kiss your Mom with that mouth? Calm down and chill out. May I continue, please? Thank you.

As I was saying…. after perusing this article, I was even more incensed. Why? Because yours truly actually likes Phoenix- that’s why I live here, and after swimming in the shallowness that is Amy Silverman, I don’t understand why she still does. Oh wait, I do. She would not be able to cut it anywhere else, methinks- and honestly, I do not believe anyone has ever extended an offer for her to do so, unlike her reporters, one of whom has just recently moved to St. Louis for an exciting new job. 

So what did Amy write in her blog* about this soon to be former scribe?
[*Amy’s blog can be read at: http://girlinapartyhat.com/index.php/2010/07/goodbye-and-good-luck-sarah-fensk

To give her some credit, she does show a fondness for this person that was forged after years of working together, and wishes her the best of luck at her new gig. This does bode as sincere, I must admit. Moreover, she even shows uncharacteristic humility as well: “It pains me to say it, but it’s true: ***** wrote better, harder, more impactful stories in her six years at the paper than I have in 17.”

Given all that I have read in NT since Amy took over as Editor, that factoid is beyond reproach. However, once again her self-adulation peeks out from under the curtain and says, “Look at me”, giving us yet another clue into Amy’s attitude by way of the following quote: “When ***** arrived at New Times six years ago, I was still smarting over my transition from staff writer (read: rock star, at least in my little world) to editor (roadie).”

Sorry Amy- I wholeheartedly apologize. You HAVE gotten job offers- well two, anyway. My bad, except….. that [according to you] after accepting said promotion; you were “smarting” about it. So let me get the straight skinny here- you were offered a promotion, with more money, prestige, responsibility and power- all of which you could have refused. Moreover, you were “smarting” about it. Call me funny, but it does not sound very “smart” to take a job you did not apparently want.

BTW, what was the amazing career opportunity that her former reporter was offered? To be the managing editor of their sister paper. In a significantly larger market. Ouch. Boy, it sucks when you are not even asked to the Prom, does it not? People who are the best at what they do get the serious offers first, and since Amy’s still here, you do the career math.

Let us see- 11 years as a reporter, 6 years as editor, equals….17 years. Working for the same company. In the same location. Oh yes, the career is shooting upwards. Don't worry though, I am sure they have your number on speed dial. You hold on to that slowly fading optimism that someday they will call you with that big break.

Considering your social skills, I am sure any number of NT delivery routes will be yours for the picking.

She might have a wall full of awards, but her mojo is definitely stuck in neutral, and due to that- she’s making all of us pay for her arrogance, shallow vanity, and elitism. Harsh, am I? Judge for yourself:

After you finish, please go read the critique of said article by Jerome du Bois:

After absorbing this well pointed dissection, I came away with a singular clarifying thought: I don't know about you, but having Amy Silverman [aka: New Times Managing Editor] oversee the cultural arts reporting in PHX is sort of like having your bunny boiling, knife wielding, crazy ass ex-girlfriend in charge of your medical treatment when you're in a coma.

Simply put, it is a BAD idea, which will not get better with time. Now, if I had acquired this knowledge PRIOR to meeting Amy Silverman [aka: New Times Managing Editor], I most likely would have ignored her email, manufactured some silver bullets, strung garlic all throughout my apartment, and made friends with both an old priest and a young priest.

Dangit- as usual, I have gotten off point- but I have referenced at least 3 classic horror movies, so that should count for something, right?

No? Well then. My sincerest apologies yet again, but I DO have to stop here for now. I will get back to this in a bit, and trust me; you will not believe what went down.

I was there, and even I don’t believe it.
However, my therapist and I are making progress, so that is a start.

"Stupidity combined with arrogance and a huge ego will get you a long way." - Chris Lowe